REFLECTION
Holidays and special events in my store came and went. New items for purchase continued. The Garden thrived. My momentum continued. I remained active at my church, and continued with my Yoga practice. By now I’m in year six and my friend Jack is still coming around but a little less frequently. I had a feeling he was getting bored with the routine. Summer had come to a close and he seemed less enthusiastic about swinging by the store. I had noticed that he had hundreds of books at his home when I stayed there to babysit the “kitty.” It occurred to me that in addition to the new books I ordered from publishers, it might be a great idea to add hard and soft copy books selected by none other than Mr Jack. We began by having him fill one mahogany Duncan Phyfe China cabinet that had four shelves on the top and two cupboard doors on the bottom. He dove right into this idea and almost immediately my customers were very excited about this addition to my shop. He would ask me what kinds of books I liked. Initially we started with some novels of his choice. Then some children’s books since I had a children’s nook. And around the holidays we had Christmas, Valentines, Mothers Day and EASTER themed books. He had a great taste for larger coffee table books, books on Art, Museums, and my clients were instructed that the purchases would be cash only, and this meant the proceeds would go directly to my “book guy.” He decided to charge .25 cents for soft copy books and .35 cents for hard copy. It was a huge bargain, as his books were procured with his overwhelming attention to detail. He loved it. Everyone loved it, and it was noted that he had super taste in book selection. One of my dear customers said to me one day that I should be thrilled, because if you have a library, a garden and a great friend, you have everything you could possibly need.
By the time winter arrived we had five bookcases full of books, and I had found fantastic book cases to house them. Jack was keeping them tidy, organized by category and almost every week he came with new volumes. It turned out to be a great draw in our community. And I must say, all those fully stocked bookshelves gave my shop a cozy ambiance.
Jack and I had frankly fallen for each other, but closer to Christmas just as I was beginning to decorate and prep my shop for the holidays it felt like he began to pull back on his visits. He surprised me and came for my Christmas Open House shopping party, but left town for the holidays afterwards.I continued my holiday commitments just as I needed to. After all my shop was my chosen livelihood. I began to think that my fondness for my shop partner was probably coming to a close. He was away the entire holiday season. And come the New Year the bookshelves were thinly populated and needed attention. I tried myself to spruce them up but customers were inquiring. I made a deal with him that he could come to the shop in the evenings. He had a key and he completed the restocking. This went on until Spring. I knew in my heart that his interest in my direction had waned. I was heartbroken. He decided and told me that he didn’t want to come to the shop any more unless I was going to be there. Like all crushes in life if you don’t add kindling to the flame it begins to die out. He stopped coming completely, but I had to pick myself up, and dust myself off and keep on……keeping on. And so we slowly drifted apart. I worked the next year on my own. He did come and stock the books on rare occasions but it was not in his heart any more. I knew it was not me though, that was keeping him away. He’d show up at odd times and I could tell he still had interest. It was for me one of the saddest times in my life. I so much missed his charm and presence. My dream shop was becoming a hard place to be without his aura. New events came and went and on my own…..the thrill of the store took on a feeling of “duty.” I frankly was lost without him. A few church folk had told me that he had some longer term health issues that kept him from being himself sometimes, and that probably it would be best for me if I would bring myself to operating without him and on my own. I really wanted to know more about his possible health issues.
I began reading all kinds of books about medical conditions not really knowing what direction my search would take me.
By the next full year in business I had lower profit numbers than my previous years, and it was becoming clear to me that it might be possible that I might have to consider closing my store. Our town was small and two other very viable and first businesses in our town had, had to close. I had worked so hard and yet we were in a deep economic turndown that had started in 2008, just as I was opening, and my operating capital was now starting to shrink slightly. I also was missing my family and so I decided to close my store at the end of year seven. In hindsight…… I truly believe now that God was calling me in a whole new and different direction. And I did not want to operate my store without my wonderful and dearest friend. And so it was……